depression + Stress = A profound negative effect

When my life spun out of control and I was being abused every day, my body began to shut down. This is how stress will and can have its profoundest effect.

I was diagnosed with Dystonia and Essential Tremors at the same time I was quickly losing weight because of the anorexia. In most of these images I weighed between 110 – 125. Before I received the much needed help to stabilize it…I weighed 98 pounds, soaking wet with sand in my pockets. Many of my documented photos were taken from inside my garage. I spent a lot of time there because it was the only place I had to go to escape the toxic environment directly on the other side of the door…my home.

Dystonia

[Dystonia is a disorder characterized by involuntary muscle contractions that cause slow repetitive movements or abnormal postures. The movements may be painful, and some individuals with dystonia may have a tremor or other neurological features.]

Dystonia and Essential Tremors make walking without the assistance of a cane, difficult. The pain can be horrific; not just because of the type of illness, but because your muscles become extremely fatigued from the 24/7 workout.

For me, when it was at its worse, the movement of my head looked very much like a “bobble head,” the toy figures whose head is attached to the body by a spring so that when touched, well…its head bobbles.

While it looks as if I was stoned, I assure you I wasn't! Dystonia temporarily paralyzes whichever muscle[s] is being affected by it. Mine, most affected by it, were my eyes and hands as you will see below.

Locked hands

frozen eyelids & Mouth